


Dar'manda

by ReluctantMandalore



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Keldabe Kiss, Mandalorian Lore, Multi, Sort of? - Freeform, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28043022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantMandalore/pseuds/ReluctantMandalore
Summary: After getting the information needed to find the child, you notice that your Mandalorian has been acting strange since his return. Confronting him leads to him telling you just exactly what has been bothering him since that fateful mission.---This fic has Mando season 2 spoilers and chapter 15 spoilers. Read at your own risk (you really shouldn't if you havent watched the ep yet).
Relationships: Din Djarin/Reader, Din Djarin/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 90





	Dar'manda

The plan had seemed to go over well—almost too well. The Mandalorian and Mayfield had gotten the desired information on Moff Gideon and the child’s location, returning as if it was the easiest job they had ever done. You had ended up watching Din closely since his return, and the longer you had observed him, the more you had begun to notice that something was clearly upsetting the beskar covered man. 

Din had been acting strange ever since he had returned. He was less alert than usual and almost seemed to be lost in a daze as he wandered about the ship. His stray wandering had only ceased when he had taken over piloting for Fett, slumping down into the chair like there was a heavy weight blanketing his shoulders. Soon busying himself by fiddling with the control panel as a way to distract himself from whatever was on his mind. 

The Mandalorian’s message to Moff Gideon was probably the most normal you had seen him be all day—his voice fierce and words deadly when recording his threat to the Imperial Officer. Although, even that had held a bite to it you had never heard from him. His desperation and anger fusing into one as he spoke those final words. 

He means more to me than you will ever know.

Those words from the Mandalorian still echoed in your mind as you crept your way up to the cockpit that he remained in. While everyone else had made their way to bed for the night he hadn’t even budged from his spot in the pilot's chair. Not wanting to wake anyone, you had entered the room quietly, closing the hatch behind you before moving to stand next to the man still occupying the space. 

Din had barely reacted to your added presence in the room, a twitch of his head being the only acknowledgement you received. Seeing him in such a state had instantly made you frown, and you felt your heart aching with sadness at the sight of the tormented man you loved. 

“Din I know something is bothering you.” You had said softly to him, placing a gentle hand onto the Mandalorian’s shoulder, “What’s wrong?”

Feeling your hand had finally pulled him from his trance and he glanced up towards you almost sluggishly. Although, he had only looked up at you briefly before he found himself looking away again, focusing his gaze onto the control panel in front of him. 

“Nothings wrong.” 

“You’ve been acting strange since you got back.” You had said, worry evident in your features as you moved to turn his chair to face you properly, “You don’t have to lie to me Din. I know you and I know something is wrong.”

“Cyar'ika...” 

“You know you can talk to me—you don’t have to bottle things up like this anymore.” You continued, “Please Din, tell me what's going on, I can’t bare to see you like this anymore.”

Din looked at you for another long second, the need to tell you what was bothering him on the tip of his tongue as the two of you locked gazes. In truth he wanted to tell you everything. He desperately wanted to seek comfort in your arms as he always did when like this, but at the same time, he was also deathly afraid of how you would react to the news. He had already lost the child, he couldn’t handle losing you as well. 

He had let out a deep sigh, his heart thundering loudly, as he sat up more in the seat so he could face you better. A sharp intake of breath was his only indicating of speaking before it had cut out again into silence. He had shifted his gaze from you over to the door which separated you both from the sleeping quarters where the others slept. His unasked question being obvious in his actions even without him having to say anything.

Seeing his unease, you had smiled softly in reassurance, placing a hand on his metal cheek to bring his attention back to your own. “They’re all sleeping, it’s just us awake.” 

“Are you sure?” 

You had nodded in reply taking his gloved hands into yours to press a calming kiss along his knuckles, “Yes I checked. It’s just us… You don’t have to worry about them hearing. I promise.” 

A long silence had stretched out after your words while you patiently waited for the man to speak. He had shifted awkwardly again in his seat as you did, his fingers gripping your own as he found himself looking away again. He could feel the salty pools beginning to form at the corner of his eyes, and he bit his lip underneath the helmet while trying to force himself to confess what was on his mind. 

Din Djarin had always been a man of few words, and for many years had locked away his emotions to keep them hidden from prying eyes. It had only been recently in your relationship with him when he finally began opening up, allowing for you to see a side to him he reserved only for himself and the child. His tough bounty hunter walls chipping away easily the more the two of you fell in love with one another. 

Even with this progress, you knew it was still hard for him to speak about these kinds of things. Din still found himself choked up when it came to talking about how he felt and he still found himself at a loss for words when trying to explain his thoughts. 

While waiting for him to speak you had found yourself caressing each of his knuckles with its own kiss. You had hoped that by doing so it would calm away some of his growing nerves and bring him some comfort away from whatever had been bothering him. 

“I-I… I took it off.” His voice had cracked as he finally spoke, breaking the silence, as a few of the tears he had tried so desperately to hold back now fell, “I took it off.” 

“Took what off?”

Din had let out a quiet breath, the words leaving him in a whisper, barely audible in the small space. 

The Helmet. 

Instantly you had felt your heart freeze over at the realization of what had happened, one of your hands coming up to your mouth as you gasped. “Oh Din…”

After your initial shock had passed, your arms had wrapped around him, enclosing him into your hold as you pulled him tightly into your chest. The man had instantly found himself melting into your hug, his own arms now wrapping around you as he gripped the back of your shirt tightly. He had begun shaking as he silently cried into your embrace, all the emotions and nerves he had felt from earlier now overflowing. 

“I did it for the child.” He said in between shaky breaths, pulling back to look up at you, “I had to. I-I…”

You shushed him, rubbing your hand along his spine as you tried to soothe his tears away, “It’s ok Din, you don’t need to explain.” 

“But it’s not ok…” He trailed off, “My creed. I broke it, but even worse... I don’t regret it. I’m not ashamed—even though I should be. ” 

“Din…”

“I’m not ashamed because I did it for him.” He had said his voice steadying the more he spoke, “I did it for Grogu, my foundling and son. Our son… I did it for our son because I love him and the little clan we have built together. I love our family more than anything—that’s why I did it.”

Tears had formed at the corner of your own eyes at his words, and you pressed your forehead against his as they started to fall. He had allowed himself to rest against you for a moment, the coolness of the beskar from the helmet sending a chill over your skin. His eyes had closed when he had, his heart thundering from the gesture and brief relief flowing over him at the knowledge of you not being upset with him in the slightest. 

“I didn’t care if taking off the helmet meant that I wasn’t a Mandalorian anymore, I just wanted to get our son back.” He said pulling back to lock his gaze with yours once more, “The pain of losing him was greater than that of breaking my creed.” 

“Din you sacrificing everything for your foundling, your son, is probably the most Mandalorian thing you have ever done.” You had smiled at him with the salty trails still lingering on your cheeks, “Whether you wear a helmet or not, you’re a true Mandalorian at the end of the day.” 

“The others may not see it the same way.” He said softly with a hum, allowing for his thumb to brush away some of your stray tears, “I still took off the helmet. The reason why may not matter to them, as in the end I may just be another dar’manda among many.”

Din’s mention of dar’manda had made you frown and caused for your heart to quiver in unbelievable sadness. The memory of him explaining the meaning of the phrase to you in a once passing conversation now flooding back, as you found yourself one the verge of tears again. 

A dar’manda to the Mandalorian was one of their own who had lost their way, believing to have turned to a state of not being a Mandalorian at all. Although not considered an outside, a dar’manda was someone who had lost their heritage, identity and even soul. Many traditional Mandalorians treated the whole concept of a dar’manda with absolute dread—making it the worst fear for many Mandalorian. 

“Din I… I’m so sorry. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what you must be feeling from all of this.” 

“Honestly? I don’t know how to feel.” He confessed, toying with your fingers as he rambled, “To become a dar'manda was once my worst fear in life. Being a Mandalorian meant everything to me, but now it doesn’t seem so bad. I mean… I’d become a dar’manda in a heartbeat if it meant saving Grogu—though I guess I may have already done that.” 

A hum left you as you listened to him speak, your own hand lingering along the lining of his chestplate. Another silence had fallen over the two of you as you stood there looking down at him. Unsure of what to say at the moment, you had instead chosen to just affectionately trail your fingers along his body, feeling it relax more under your touch. 

“What do I do now?” He had suddenly asked absentmindedly, “Is there anything I even can do in this situation?”

“I don’t really know what to tell you Din.” You had sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of his helmet as you spoke, “But whatever you decide to do I’ll be right here. I’ll go anywhere in the Galaxy with you, no matter what happens or what you choose—Mandalorian or not.” 

An unseen smile had spread across his lips at your words as he buried himself into your arms again, “Cyar'ika... ni kar'tayl gar darasuum.”

“I love you too Din.” You replied, smiling as you pulled him tightly into your embrace again.

Din had settled himself back into your arms, a content sigh leaving him when had cuddled himself up to your warmth. Being so snug in your embrace had caused for a wave of tiredness to wash over him, his mind and body now beginning to feel the full weight of everything that had happened recently. 

Beginning to pull back at hearing him yawn, and looking down at the man still entangled in your arms, you had smiled softly, “We should probably head to bed-”

Din’s grip had suddenly tightened on your retreating arms, stopping you in your movement and cutting off your suggestion as he did. He had then moved himself to hug his own arms around your waist, keeping you in place as he nuzzled himself into your chest. Your brow had furrowed in confusion as you watched him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder again while he effectively trapped you in his hold. 

“Not yet…” He had whispered, his voice laced with sleep while his words slurred together, “Just let me stay like this a little longer… please?”

A smile spread across your lips at his words, and with a small nod you had pulled him back deeper into your arms. His head easily cradling itself into the dip of your neck as he allowed for a tired sigh to leave him again. Along his back your fingers ran soothing patterns on its surface, drawing out any of his remaining nerves that may have still remained from earlier. Now relaxing completely in your arms, his worries and fears had drifted away, as he listened to the steady thump of your heartbeat. 

The Mandalorian would remain in your arms long into the night, never leaving your grasp while you lounged together in the darkened space. Eventually you would return to your own cots, but for the time being you just enjoyed each other's comforting presence. The only thoughts occupying your minds being that of your love for one another, and the son you both knew you would do anything to save.


End file.
